Pat Kenny Announced As New Head Of An Bord Pleanála


“WE are delighted to announce someone taking over the role who has a 100% record in winning planning disputes, knocking back other people’s permission applications – that’s kind of what we live for,” confirmed a spokesperson for An Bord Pleanála after he announced their intention to appoint broadcaster Pat Kenny to chair of the planning body, fresh from his successful campaign to halt an apartment development near his home in Dalkey, Dublin.

The chair of An Bord Pleanála is normally appointed by the government but the planning body was so keen to secure their ability to deny planning permission to developments they went and sought out Kenny themselves.

“It’s been a horrible time for us with all those Strategic Development Zones that don’t need our permission, you saw that big skyscraper in Cork full of apartments that got the go ahead? God, we would have loved to say no to that, and that’s why Pat’s our man. We need someone who is unbeaten in planning disputes,” confirmed the spokesperson.

Kenny and his wife successfully argued that the development would “be contrary to the proper planning and sustainable development of the area” and it’s this sort of reasoned and well researched argument An Bord Pleanála was looking for in its own future rejections of developments.

“Ah, sod that! We just want someone who likes saying ‘no, not here’ as much as ourselves. We can’t wait to get started,” concluded the spokesperson from a news conference in An Bord Pleanala’s offices which he’d have torn down in a heartbeat if he could as it spoils a nearby tree’s ability to access the sun’s rays between 12pm-2pm.