“Don’t Thank Me All At Once” – Taoiseach


SWOOPING in at the last minute to take all of the credit that doesn’t belong to him, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has heralded the successful campaign to repeal the 8th amendment by appearing in front of the world’s leading media agencies in a bid to make it look like this was all his idea, WWN can report.

“Don’t thank me all at once, I understand your emotional and perhaps have forgotten it is I that has worked so hard to make it look like this was my idea, but retweet my tweet about the Yes victory when you get a chance,” the Taoiseach said from a stage in front of a crowd of men and women who actually fronted the successful campaign.

“You’ve no idea how good this makes him look abroad,” an aide close to the Taoiseach explained, “like, this sort of thing means that when he leaves office his book deal will be bigger, his speech and public engagement fees can sky rocket. He’s the man that made abortion legal in Ireland, all by himself no less,” added the aide before pushing Simon Harris off the stage in Dublin Castle.

The Taoiseach’s masterminding of taking credit for the campaign which was actually spearheaded by Together for Yes and countless activists who have fought for the holding of a referendum for years has been described by political insiders as a true sign of great leadership.

“The sign of a great leader is that when the public, with next to no assistance from the powerful, bring about about monumental change you get your speech writers to come up with a wanky phrase for it all, like ‘quiet revolution’, so you can be called the Quiet Revolutionary on some future cover of Time magazine or whatever,” explained one political commentator, who couldn’t help admire how brazen the Taoiseach could be.

Construction of a statue of Taoiseach Varadkar with a plaque ‘The Great Liberator’ is set to begin this morning.