Man Escapes Murder Conviction After Judge Accepts ‘Acting The Maggot’ Defence

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WATERFORD man Sean Lenning accused of murder has escaped conviction after the judge hearing the case accepted that the defendant was ‘only messing’ at the time, dismissing the case and apologising to Mr. Lenning for wasting his time.

Lenning stood accused of beating 35 year-old Declan Lenning (no relation) to death outside a chip shop in the city centre in 2015, but was acquitted under the ‘fatal horseplay’ clause which states that a crime isn’t really a crime if it’s just lads acting the maggot.

Although the family and friends of the deceased were bitterly disappointed that the man who killed their loved one would not serve a single day in prison for his crime, they accepted that ‘that’s how things work in Ireland”.

“We really had held out hope that the man who killed our brother would at least get 6 years for manslaughter, fully suspended,” sobbed Margaret Lenning, sister to the deceased.

“But look, sure he said he was only messing around when he kicked Declan’s head in. And he was drunk as well at the time. It was foolish for us to think that anybody would even consider that a crime. Sure, if the judge made an example of him and gave him actual jail time, what would be next? Jail time for drink-drivers who kill people? Jail time for rich people who rape? Hardly likely”.

Sean Lenning will be released from custody later today, and will be required to attend weekly ‘Messers Anonymous” meetings for the next 12 months.

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