Trump Throws JFK Files From Balcony To Awaiting Media


A RABID herd of journalists called out to President Donald Trump as he dangled bulky folders containing the unreleased files relating to President John F. Kennedy’s assassination, WWN can confirm.

Loose pages danced in the air as they were caught by the wind, prompting a rush of movement from journalists which led to several members of the press corps being trampled on.

“Why do we keep falling for these distraction tactics,” a bewildered correspondent from CNN asked peers as he clung to what bits of newly unclassified documents he could get his hands on.

“Someone should really be checking what Republicans are trying to get away with while we’re all here,” a Washington Post journalist called out as he placed his foot on the head a colleague in a bid to gain a height advantage amidst the scramble.

The files relating to JFK’s assassination were scheduled to be released today due to freedom of information acts, which prompted President Trump to pretend he was the driving force behind their release.

“Maybe you’ll report something that isn’t Fake News for once,” Trump was overheard saying as he threw the files into the air, “some good stuff in there about an Alien race’s involvement, the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th shooters on the grassy knoll”.

Once the last of the files had been thrown over the balcony and the mania below had died down, Trump took to Twitter to criticise the media for not reporting the key role the Clintons played in the assassination of President Kennedy.