Hurricane Irma To Become More Important The Closer It Gets To The US


THE severity and importance of Hurricane Irma is set to rise as it approaches a land mass, known as North America, which is more important than lesser land masses such as ‘not America’.

“If you look at the map, it hasn’t hit anywhere of note yet,” explained US-based weatherman Cyril Hobin, pointing at an area on a map named ‘not Florida’.

While the threat of death and destruction from Hurricane Irma, the most severe hurricane on record, is very real, it will come into sharper focus for media outlets across the world as it edges closer to the United States of America, typically known to news consumers as somewhere they care about, with the hurricane finally becoming exceptionally important when it makes land there.

“As it surges towards Florida, it will edge out news from elsewhere, with Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar set to be the first casualties. I don’t want to speak too soon, but if it really goes to town on the US, you might not hear from Brexit for a week,” explained veteran of Devoted Broadcast Time Allotment, Henry Fairings.

“There was little to contemplate or invest in when it was tearing through islands I can’t name in the Caribbean, with you know, certain types of people on them, but I’m astonished that people haven’t given up all their time and devoted it to the US now the hurricane is actually hitting places people care about. This should be a category 10,000 storm,” revealed one expert in empathy, Gillian Remington shared with WWN.

There are no indications that Irma will obstruct the media’s attempts to stoke support for military intervention in North Korea.