Nation Returns To Office With Renewed Hatred For Work


THE RECENT BANK holiday weekend has resulted in the Nation’s workforce returning to their jobs with a refreshed and renewed hatred for work.

Given an additional 24 hours to enjoy not lifting a finger rather than the usual 48 hours, thousands upon thousands of Irish people have reportedly confirmed they gave some serious consideration to burning down their place of employment late yesterday evening in a bid to enjoy yet another joyous lie in.

Other employees considered practicing their ‘sick day’ voices in a last ditch bid to never work again and simply extend this current Bank Holiday weekend by some 40 years or so.

“Man, after chilling out for a few days I feel really relaxed and rested. I’ve got all this extra energy which I’m happy to use as fuel for fucking hating everything about this piece of shit job,” a smiling and serene looking Michael Hanley shared with WWN before heading into his place of work.

“I don’t resent work or my job, I’d need to find a word or phrase which was much more severe than that, like ‘I’m rather drag my arse along broken glass from here to eternity than return to that gloomily lit and poorly ventilated hellhole,” another worker, Roisin Golan, said of her job at Roisin Golan & Associates.

“If the long weekend has done anything for me, it’s just solidified my utter hatred for the 9-to-5,” Golan concluded has she fled at speed away from her office and back in the direction of her home some 12 miles away.