Varadkar Confirms This Week’s Heatwave Was His Idea
‘LEO THE LION’, the saviour of Irish politics and Mother Ireland, who has achieved so much in his short political career that voters would be forgiven for not remembering a single significant achievement, has confirmed that any good weather which may be on its way this week is all down to him.
“I want a weather climate for people who get up in the morning and use the outdoors,” confirmed Varadkar at a hastily assembled photo opportunity beside a large sign which read ‘genius and answer to all of Ireland’s problems’.
Varadkar would not be drawn on specific temperatures, but heavily insinuated that if the sun was to break out from behind the clouds at any point this week, the Nation would have him to thank for it.
“I think we can agree everyone enjoys the sunshine, and that’s what I’d hope to bring to the country; things people like. If you like anything, I’d also make sure that happened or you had more of that,” Varadkar added, in an address the media confirmed could have come from the mouth of Michael Collins himself.
“It’s this sort of outside of the box thinking we need right now, no other politician would have thought of claiming a bit of sunshine was their idea,” shared one worried looking junior minister, who endorsed Varadkar as many as 14 times, in the hope she would still have his job after the leadership contest was over.