‘Have You Seen My Wife And Kids?’ Asks Coveney For 100th Time


THE Fine Gael leadership race between Leo Varadkar and Simon Coveney to fill the void left by Enda Kenny isn’t over by a long shot; not according to Coveney, spotted today wearing a t-shirt bearing the slogan ‘I’m married and I have children’.

Varadkar looked to have had the battle to lead the party sewn up late last week, having secured the support of a large number of his FG cohorts.

Although many expected Cork native Coveney to step aside and concede victory to Varadkar, the Minister For Housing stressed that he still has qualities that his rival does not, and is also a straight man with a beautiful wife and three lovely children.

“Have I shown you the latest snaps from our week in Trabolgan?” Asked Coveney, flicking through his iPhone while being interviewed on the Six-One news.

“There’s myself and the wife, a perfectly happy married couple in keeping with the ways and traditions of this island, and there’s the three kids; three! Never let it be said that I don’t know how to procreate. Yep, Leo may have charm and be hip and go to festivals and the like, but sure couldn’t we all do that if we didn’t have families, like the one I have. Have I shown you them lately? Here, check out these snaps”.

Coveney was later spotted applying cartoon stickers of each family member onto the back of his ministerial Mercedes, yelling ‘you’ll never see Leo with these on his car’.