Everything Back To Normal


THE NATION was able to breathe a collective sigh of relief as they were presented with overwhelming evidence that everything is back to normal in the form of endless torrents of rain, WWN can confirm.

Now waist deep in flash floods while being stabbed in the eye by passerby’s umbrellas, the public confirmed to WWN that the recent bout of good weather had sparked a great deal of worry and panic.

“You start to think; ‘will we ever get the rain back’. But the rain is like a reassuring hug, whereas the sun is like your foreign neighbour you know is there, but you’ve made peace with the fact long ago that you’ll never be mates,” explained Ciara Cantillon, a Waterford based Irish woman, who was wearing 9 layers of waterproof clothing.

“I was getting worried if I’m being honest. Something about that sunshine just wasn’t sitting right with me,” confirmed now soaking wet citizen John Coulihy, “like, we haven’t done anything to deserve it, have we? So you get to be suspicious, is the government hiding the rain from us and if so, where?”

The brief break with normal conditions, believed to have lasted over a week, has been described by Met Éireann as an anomaly and something the public wouldn’t have to worry about happening again until May 2048 sometime.