Increasingly Depressed Earth Wishes Just One Passing Meteor Would Hit It
AN INCREASINGLY depressed Earth has looked towards passing meteors with a wistful desire, hoping one of them could slightly change course and hurtle towards its surface, obliterating its life-sustaining self.
Growing more world weary with each passing day, Earth, home to over 7 billion people has become more listless as its chief tenants continue to treat it with disrespect.
“Aw man, that one was really close, and it looked big enough to put me out of my misery too,” Earth confirmed as it stared at a meteor the size of Gilbraltar as it whizzed past.
Becoming unhappy as the level of pollution humans create which is causing irreparable damage to it, the Earth has confessed in recent times it would love nothing more than to alter its orbit for the worse and admitted to being jealous of lifeless planets.
“And hey, I’d given self-harming some consideration, but why bother when North Korea are running missile nuclear tests”.
“You know, when that last big one hit I was relieved to still be standing after it all. But the more time passes, the more I think the dinosaurs were the lucky ones, not me,” Earth added, unable to rouse itself from its melancholic mood.