“Oh My God, I’m Such A Fat Bitch,” Says Local Slim Woman
A NOTORIOUSLY non ‘fat bitch’ in the Waterford area of Europe has today sensationally criticised her own decision to eat a croissant and a chocolate bar, WWN can confirm.
Local slim woman, Rebecca Hangatty (22), was sitting on the couch in the house she shares with three friends when she made the decision to point out what a fat bitch she had become after consuming 30 grams of chocolate, something the vast majority of slim and not slim people do periodically throughout their lives on a daily basis.
“The absolute state of me lads, look at that like,” Hangatty said clutching her flat stomach in frustration at herself, “oh my God, I’m such a fat bitch”.
Hangatty was all the more disappointed and ashamed of herself as this irresponsible suicidal food mad binge-fest was the second one she had engaged in this decade.
“Lads, you’ll have stuff into my dress come Saturday. Like, I’m out of control,” Hangatty said, insinuating the combination of a chocolate bar and a croissant would render her body unrecognisable from its current form come the end of the week.
Keen not to pile on the misery for the out of control Hangatty and agree with her assertion that she was indeed a fat bitch, her three housemates silently watched TV and ignored her, preferring instead to grind their teeth in a quiet rage.