Government Agree To Cull Of Kerry By Giving Them The Drink Driving Laws They Want


IN THE largest project of its kind ever undertaken by an Irish government, the cabinet has formally agreed to alter drink driving laws in Kerry in an effort to cull the county’s population.

Unlike previous attempts to carry out similar culling projects in Cork, the people of Kerry are 100% behind the efforts to permit them to drink as many pints as they want before driving on rural Kerry roads and onwards to certain death.

“Three pints minimum before being allowed to drive at all seems the least the government up in their big Dublin offices with their big Dublin heads could do,” Danny Healy Rae of the Sure I Drink Drive All The Time And I’ve Killed Nobody (SIDDATTAIKN) lobby group shared with WWN.

By allowing the people of Kerry to make up their own laws for driving home from the pub, the government are hopeful the laws will have the dual purpose of reducing the population in Kerry to zero over time, thus freeing up some money that is normally reserved for appeasing rural TDs.

“We tried ignoring Leitrim for God, it must have been 6 or 7 years, but this is the first time a controversial government policy like this has been embraced by the people it’s designed to wipe out,” explained one cabinet member.

While details of the cull have yet to be decided upon, it is thought it may involve leaving Kerry to it.