American Tourist In Dublin Becomes 1st One Ever Not To Claim Irish Roots


A HISTORIC moment in ‘Americans visiting Ireland for St Patrick’s Day’ occurred today in the Temple Bar area of Dublin after a New York native rejected all and any temptation to describe himself as having ‘Irish roots’, WWN can reveal.

Dominic Shaw, 29-year-old New Yorker, has spent much of this last week in Ireland visiting the various sights and sounds the country has to offer, but never once shared a story of having a very vague and barely tangible link to ‘the motherland’.

“I’ve never seen anything like it, he just visited museums and sights, and never once said ‘my third cousin’s brother’s uncle’s mother’s goat ate here in 1899 which means I’m half Irish’,” explained Shaw’s frankly shocked tour guide, Sean Higgins.

“He even resisted cashing in on an endless supply of people reluctantly buying him a pint, this has to be a first,” added Higgins.

The phenomenon by which American tourists feel compelled to tell every Irish person how they are also Irish has fascinated scientists for years, with the latest research bringing us a step closer to understanding the motivations behind such utterances.

“We’re fairly class like,” TCD researcher Eoin Foley explained, “so when the yanks touch down and see how much craic we are, they just want to be part of it all so they make up a great-great-great-grandfather who fought Cú Chulainn in the Battle of the Boyne inside the GPO in 1916”.

“If only they knew how much it annoyed us, we’re going to run tests on this Dominic lad to try to understand why he’s so sound about the whole thing. It’s the first example we’ve ever found,” concluded Foley.

Dominic for his part cited the fact he was not Irish as a reason for not claiming to be Irish. More as we get it.