4-Year-Old’s Mining Cobalt For Smart Phones Doing A Great Job In Fairness


CONSUMERS of smartphone technologies like the Apple iPhone and Samsung Galaxy have today officially praised young children in the Democratic Republic of the Congo for mining cobalt for their device’s lithium-ion batteries.

The sudden appreciation for the young workers comes after a report by Sky News this week, which echoes a previous report by Amnesty International last year that didn’t go as viral, stating it has traced the cobalt to mines where children as young as four work in life-threatening conditions.

“To be honest, they’re doing a great job of it in fairness when you think about the sheer number of devices that are out there at the moment,” said one iPhone 6s owner we talked to today, “sure, isn’t it great they have the bit of work there at all? There’s no jobs around here”.

“My youngest lad is probably at home with his tablet right now watching some stupid Roblox YouTube video. He’s 8 years old and won’t even get his own glass of water, he’s that lazy. If anything, these young lads in Africa are an inspiration. More power to them, ” he added.

Massive intentional companies from China, that act as a proxy supplier for more reputable corporations like Apple, employ local mining companies to remove the mineral for them, many pretending to have no idea of the conditions the miners are working in, with some of the estimated 40,000 children earning as little as 10 cents a day.

“Jaysus, that’s some business plan,” another smartphone owner exclaimed when told about the wage, “Four grand isn’t bad now for 40,000 workers a day, and I had to replace my Samsung’s battery and it cost me a bloody fortune last month! I must get on to them to complain now that I know how cheap they get them made for”.