Mike Pence Praised For Swallowing Own Vomit When Shaking Hands With Gay Couple


GOOD NEWS stories about the Trump administration are at a premium these days, however, even the enemy of the American people ‘the media’ will be quick to heap further praise on Vice President Mike Pence following a kind gesture befitting the most noble of statesmen.

Shortly after speaking at CPAC to an audience of American conservatives, Pence was introduced to a stream of members of the public in the crowd and happily shook their hands and stifled any urge to vomit when he learned that two of them were in fact homosexuals.

“This is the kind of unifying leadership we need. VP Pence could have vomited directly onto those hell-bound heathens, but he didn’t for the sake of uniting the country which was magnanimous decision,” shared one CPAC attendee, “this is what real leadership looks like”.

Pence, who could be seen using a tissue to dampen the edges of his mouth where a small droplet of vomit had escaped, held a stern smile and politely stared into the distance beyond the two men as they shared their concerns about the Trump administration.

“The media are going to make a big deal about this, but he used bleach to wash his hands after the homosexuals left the room. And he’s been called the most awful things, it’s beggars belief,” explained another CPAC attendee.

The office of the Vice President denied separate claims made by some CPAC attendees that he was the lesser of two evils when compared to Donald Trump.