iPhone Celebrates 10th Birthday By Switching Itself Off With 30% Battery Left


APPLE’S hugely successful iPhone product has reached the grand old age of 10, and chose to celebrate in style by switching itself off despite clearly stating it had at least 30% battery left, WWN can reveal.

“Ah for fuck sake, not again,” remarked the phone’s owner, who was inconsolable with the knowledge that it would be hours before he would have the chance to charge the iPhone back up.

The iPhone, unquestionably one of Apple’s landmark creations, continues to enjoy popularity amongst consumers 10 years after it first emerged out into the world, however, some owners of the phone contend that its battery life remains infuriating.

“It said 30% so I knew it could go at any moment in time, I even quit all the apps running in the background, but still it wasn’t enough, happy fucking birthday asswipe,” the owner shared while also taking some time out to swear directly at the iPhone.

“You lying piece of shit,” the owner yelled for what he estimates may be the 14th time in the last few days.

Many iPhone users place trust in the phone’s stated battery life, setting them on a crash course with disappointment and angry. Some more foolish individuals even allow their phone to operate with the highest level of screen brightness applied.

“Eh, thanks, but I’m not an idiot, my brightness is so low down I have no idea what I’ve been texting people these last few years,” the phone’s owner responded when WWN suggested turning down the screen’s brightness.