All You Need To Know About The North’s ‘Cash For Ash’ Scandal


A UK-wide scheme which was set up to encourage businesses to switch to wood biomass heating from fossil fuels now threatens to derail Stormont and result in the resignation of First Minister and DUP leader Arlene Foster.

UPDATE: that’s Stormont derailed there now.

But why?

Set up in 2012 while Foster was Minister for Enterprise, Trade and Investment, the scheme in the Northern Ireland failed to place a cap on usage and subsidies, paving the way for abuse of the scheme to cost as much as £400 million for the taxpayer.

Does stuff like this happen a lot up North?

No more than it does in the Republic but we just don’t have the same capacity for bickering as the North’s politicians seem to possess.

Does this mean I still get BBC Northern Ireland on me box?

Sadly, yes.

Is it a really bad sign that Gerry Adams is making his presence known?

Sadly, yes.

Will Foster resign in a tactful manner like her predecessor Peter Robinson did when he was dragged kicking and screaming from office?

That remains to be seen, but it is likely.

Did Foster threaten a Minister who refused to keep the scheme open?

They are just allegations, but yes snitches get stitches.

Would you recommend not bothering to pay any close attention to the scandal until something juicy like a resignation happens?

No, you’d miss out on so much petty squabbling if you did.

UPDATE: There goes Martin now resigning in protest. This scandal is now officially juicy.

Who is to really blame for all this?

The sole reason that ‘cash for ash’ is pushing the assembly perilously close to shutting down is that Arlene Foster, as head of the department, ‘fucked up’ to use a technical phrase applied to errors carried out by politicians but if you had a vivid imagination the reasons could be endless.

However, Foster, a keen apportioner of blame has worked tirelessly on finding the real culprit behind her and her then department’s mistakes:

1) Sexism

2) Rivals are jealous they didn’t come up with a dysfunctional incentive program which allowed people and businesses to make some serious money.

3) Sexism

4) The media

5) Haters going to hate

6) Shut up Sinn Féin

7) …Brexit?

8) Northern Ireland