“My Parents Separation Is The Perfect Excuse To Act The Little Prick”

FOLLOWING his parents’ announcement that they are going to separate, son of two, David O’Brien, vowed to be that little more disruptive and difficult on the back of their decision, claiming it’s what all the kids from broken homes do on TV these days.

Sitting on a wall outside his local shop with some of his peers, O’Brien vowed to cause as much trouble as humanly possible over the next few years, even kicking over the external shop bin ‘just for the craic’.

“I’m gonna fucking wreck the place,” he told the group of smoking teens, before spitting on the ground in front of a customer who was entering the shop, “No more curfew, no more homework bollox, the whole world can go fuck itself and everyone in it; bunch of arseholes”.

Mirroring his parents anger and frustration, the 14-year-old then began shouting incoherently at an elderly gentleman who was passing the group, just to see how far he could take things.

“Bahahahaha, fuckin’ stupid auld lad nearly croked it with the fright,” O’Brien said laughing, realising he terrified the vulnerable man, before requesting the ‘butt’ of a friend’s cigarette, “Ya duck arsed, ya dopey cunt,” now wiping saliva from the filter, while pondering, “I think it’s time to start smoking something stronger. A nice drug habit would go down a treat right now”.