Sharon In Accounts To Spend Day Telling Everyone It’s The 1st Of December


CONCERNED by the prospect of her coworkers going as much as 60 seconds into their work day unaware of the fact it’s the 1st of December, Sharon in accounts has taken it upon herself to inform everyone what day it is.

Regarded by many as the beginning of the Christmas season, the 1st of December also provides many Christmas obsessives, with an excuse to spread the good news that they will be unbearable for the next 25 days or so.

“Well, David, I suppose I don’t have to tell you, but,” Sharon ventured talking to David on reception, while wearing a smile so wide she ran the risk of permanent muscle damage.

“It’s not the 31st of November, I’ll tell you that for nothing,” Sharon added, while cackling like someone who had swallowed a canister of laughing gas.

Sharon then began to perform a hybrid of an Irish dancing jig and epilepsy as she repeated the words ‘it’s the first of December’ while trying to catch the eyes of as many of her coworkers as possible.

Lost in thought some minutes later, Sharon, who should have really started working an hour ago, expressed her concern that the office had yet to put up its Christmas decorations.

“God, what if they don’t put them up until tomorrow, or Jesus, what if it’s Monday,” Sharon said, becoming visibly upset.

Spotting Martin from accounts on his way to the photocopier, Sharon cut off his path in order to inform him of the date and its significance.

“Fuck off Sharon,” Martin confirmed, as he glided past Sharon without noticing her new ‘Christmas’ tattoo emblazoned on her forehead.