World Watches On Helplessly As Americans America The Shit Out Of American Election


VOTING continues across America today as the American electorate seeks to vote in a new president, and while the identity of the 45th president of the United States of America is not yet know, what is known is that Americans are currently Americaning the shit out of the American election.

“So many people are staunchly opposed to one another and their preferred candidate, but they are always in agreement that they will do their level best as Americans to America the shit of the election,” election expert Sebastian Cumstard explained to WWN.

“The beautiful thing about America is that no matter your race, creed, class or gender, whatever your barely researched opinion is, it will likely lead you to vote in an almost violently patriotic manner or to use the technical term it will see you ‘America the shit out of it'” added Cumstard.

The most recent polls have indicated that supporters of both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump voted ‘in good conscience’ for their candidate and did so believing they ‘America’d the ever living shit out of it’. Asked to expand on what they meant by this, some 98% replied by screaming ‘America’ as loudly as humanly possible.

The world will continue to watch on helplessly with many confirming they will not be able to sleep until they know who America feels can America America the most; Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.

Regardless of the result, alcohol experts expect a huge spike in alcohol consumption when the outcome is known, with people motivated to down the nearest thing to them out of despair or relief.

Elsewhere, an Afghan farmer has expressed no preference as to which candidate he would prefer to be in charge in three months time when he is killed by an erroneous missile strike, but conceded the whole thing would be ‘very American’.