Trump’s Last Campaign Day Spent Fitting In As Much Racism As Possible


AS America’s ‘decision day’ looms, Republican candidate Donald Trump has been engaged in a frantic bid to fit in as much casual racism as possible on the final day of campaigning.

“It’s highly likely Donald would be arrested for all the racist, xenophobic and misogynistic things he says if he weren’t a candidate so I think he wants to make the most of his last full day as a fully protected monster,” adviser to Trump, David Scalden explained.

“Plus, for Donald, it just feels really, really, really, good to give out about people who aren’t white and voting for him,” added Scalden, “it’s not about swing states, or convincing people to vote. Right now, he just wants a podium and a crowd to shout in the general direction of”.

Trump took to several hastily assembled rallies as he bid to be as freely racist as possible, calling into question any and every non-white race or group of people he could think of.

“Get me an atlas, let’s see who’s next,” Trump said shortly after doing a 12 minute impression of a person from China while pinning back the skin around his eyes.

“Believe me, I will be president, but let me tell you if I’m not, I’m gonna get arrested so quickly if I carry this act on after election day, so ya gotta make the most of it folks, believe me,” the tiny handed reality TV star explained.

It is alleged that aides close to Trump have taken away his phone in recent days for fear he may use Twitter. It is also alleged that they have taken away his make up and fake tan amid fears Trump would attempt ‘black face’ in order to appeal to white supremacists in an actual attempt to reach out to African Americans voters.