Rats Pictured Leaving Sinking OCI Headquarters


IN a blow to the impeccable, bulletproof integrity of the OCI, tabloid photographers caught sight of a flurry of rats leaving the council’s headquarters as its foundations began sinking into the earth earlier this morning.

The Olympic Council of Ireland had enjoyed receding back into the vast recesses of the public’s consciousness in the weeks following the conclusion of the Rio games, however, news that hordes of rodents no longer deem their headquarters in Howth a safe place to dwell means a return to the front pages.

“Rats usually leg it the first sign of danger. There really is no more astute animal at realising when the time to bolt and never been seen again has come, well they’re second to John Delaney on that front, but other than that no one has a better nose for this stuff,” rodent expert Michael Pest shared with WWN.

“Shite and you’d almost forgotten about Pat Hickey and all that stuff, the ship was set to right itself,” confirmed an OCI insider, as he used a bucket to scoop water out of the premises as it creaked slowly into the nearby sea.

Senior OCI members had confirmed as recently as September that the course of their organisation had been chartered to calmer waters, but word that rats feel the vessel isn’t long for this world has caused fresh panic.

In recent days John Delaney and Kevin Kilty have disembarked the OCI as it continues to take on dangerous levels of water.

“I’ll be fucked if I’m staying on and drowning with you lot, so long,” Delaney allegedly said in his resignation letter.