Everything Preventing Me From Getting What I Want Is Sexism, Confirms Local Woman

A LOCAL woman who has failed to achieve a number of goals in her life up until this point has admitted that the only conceivable reason for this is rampant sexism, drawing considerable ire from a number of her coworkers as a result.

24-year-old Cora Hughes has voiced her regret at being passed over for a number of promotions because she is a woman, and has criticised those she holds responsible for this.

“I’m sick of it, everywhere I turn I’m met with this latent sexism that permeates every interaction I have, be it when I’m interviewing for a promotion in work or when I accidentally lose us €500,000 in business, I’ve earned this,” Hughes explained, omitting key details about her performance in work.

“She would definitely have a point if it wasn’t for the fact she gave a drunk Powerpoint presentation on the top 5 ‘Friends’ episodes of all time when she should have been detailing how she would drive new business to the company,” Hughes’s coworker Aisling Bennett shared with WWN.

“In fairness, she nailed the order of the 5 episodes but then she called in sick for a week, citing an itchy elbow and ‘dry eyebrows’,” HR manager Niall Grogan added.

Hughes also rejected claims that the majority of her work day is spent updating her online blog ‘Fuck Work For A Game Of Soldiers’.

“Sexism does impede the progress of many women, but ya know, Cora needs to get her head out of her arse and try being on time and meeting the targets set out for her. Appropriating a big workplace issue to cover her incompetence – that’s annoying,” Hughes’s boss and chauvinistic pig Elaine Kilbride explained to WWN.

Hughes is expected to spend the rest of her day gathering evidence for the Employment Appeals Tribunal.