eBay Puts 150 People’s Lives Up For Auction

HAVING decided to pack up and move away from their Dundalk facility, online giant eBay have opted to stick the lives and wellbeing of 150 people up for auction instead of having to go to the hassle of bringing them along or renting a new place in Dublin.

Although the multinational corporation has gotten years of use out of the 150 people, the decision was made by eBay to leave Dundalk and set up somewhere that they could pay even less tax than their current rate.

Although the firm is not set to leave the border town until midway through 2017, the livelihoods of the 150 people have already been listed on the auctioneering site, with eBay looking to just offload them as quickly as possible.

“Good workers, but we just have no need for them anymore” reads the ad, currently listed at ‘any offers taken’.

“Only got them because we moved into the area. Heading off soon so just need to get rid of them. Most as good as new, c/w families and dependents. Some water damage from crying but otherwise fit for use”.

So far there have been no bids for the workers in the unemployment-hit town of Dundalk, prompting many to worry if they will in fact find a new home or if they’ll just be dumped. A spokesperson for eBay confirmed that it would be great if a bidder win the auction for the 150 people, but they really didn’t give a fuck one way or another.