Avoid Coughing Up Your Lungs With These 4 Easy Steps

WORRYINGLY an ever increasing number of people are taken by surprise by a sizeable and aggressive cough which impacts on the lungs with such ferocity that it propels the lungs, launching them out of the body.

WWN has researched the phenomena thoroughly and can provide 4 easy steps you can carry out to avoid coughing up your lungs.

1) Stitching your mouth shut may seem extreme, but have you tried continuing to live after coughing up your lungs? That is marginally more extreme and frankly impossible. If you feel a chest cough coming along, it’s important to stitch your mouth shut as soon as possible to stave off any possibility of a lung being projected up your oesophagus and out your mouth.

Just to be on the safe side, it’s recommended to also stuff your nose with something.

2) Standing on your head reverses the normal trajectory of a cough, and reduces the risk that you will cough up an entire lung when you splutter into a fit of coughing.

However, be warned that last year, several people in Japan were found to have coughed their lungs of out their rectum as a result of this particular method.

3) Try breaking down one big massive cough into 100 smaller coughs. When you feel a big whooping, guttural cough coming on, it could spell the end of your lungs residing inside your body.

Thinking on your feet try to suppress your cough and control it by eeking out small spluttery mini coughs or ‘coughettes’ as they are referred to by coughing experts.

4) Only cough when surrounded by the world’s most skilled surgeons. If you’re going to cough your lungs up, you might as well do it in the company of the very people who can cut you open and place your lungs back in their rightful place.