Unemployed & Aimless Man Can’t Believe Ex Is Marrying Successful Businessman


LOCAL unemployed Darragh Hassion is at a loss to explain why his ex-girlfriend is now engaged to a driven and successful businessman.

Speaking exclusively to WWN from his couch, Hassion explained that he was engaged in a passionate relationship with Cara Coogan for almost 3 years, but recently discovered that she was engaged while stalking her Facebook profile.

“I just don’t get what he has that I don’t,” explained Hassion, who saw his relationship dissolve after he refused to do anything other than stay in and watch movies, despite the encouragement to do otherwise by his then girlfriend.

“Frankly, I’m in shock, this is totally out of the blue, we’ve only just broken up,” Hassion added of the relationship which concluded 6 years ago after the Waterford man refused to shower for several weeks.

Hassion was keen to stress he wished Coogan every happiness, but questioned if a man who employs 70 people across 3 businesses and dedicates his spare time to helping local charities is really the wisest choice for the position of her husband.

“Still getting my head around it, I just look at him and then at myself and it just seems like a no brainer. We were just so suited to one another,” Hassion opined in between spawning back to life on Call of Duty Black Ops.

“She was always telling me I need to get a job to push on in life,” Hassion said of his former partner, now a doctor in Waterford Regional Hospital, “but sure that’s easier said than done,” Hassion added, before sharing over 70 excuses inside of 60 seconds as to why he hasn’t got around to getting a job.

Hassion once again confirmed he wished the newly engaged couple all the best while also cautioning that getting hitched to someone who isn’t him, could be the biggest mistake of his ex’s life.