“You Know There’s Like, Loads Of Other Amendments” – Taoiseach Tells Abortion Campaigners

THE Taoiseach Enda Kenny has responded to groups irate at the news that the government has established a Kicking The Abortion Can Down The Road Commission, which will see any possibility of a referendum on the 8th amendment delayed by at least a year.

“Jesus Christ, calm yourselves. There’s like a million other amendments, could you not moan about those ones for a change,” the Taoiseach cautioned, in an effort to assure the public that the government takes the reality of women having to travel abroad to terminate pregnancies very seriously.

“The 4th amendment, go on have a look at that,” the Taoiseach added in the vain hope pro-choice groups would get worked up about the 1973 amendment to the constitution, which saw the voting age reduced from 21 to 18, “there’s like 30-odd amendments, change it up. Pick any other one to be annoyed about, what’s so special about the 8th?”

A spokesman for the Irish Commission of Things We Don’t Talk about defended the government’s decision to delay making a decision on things that adversely affects women.

“Oh, now, come on. You know we don’t like talking about this stuff,” the spokesman confirmed.

“But in the meantime, if any woman is planning on having a fatal foetal abnormality, we’d suggest putting that off for a about a year or so,” the spokesman added.

The government has denied that in the meantime a new State-run airline Export The Problemair will be set up.