GAA Confirms ‘Water Hurling’ Plans After Purchase Of 100 Dolphins
IN effort to open Gaelic games up to a new audience, the GAA has announced a brand new code which will be provisionally named ‘water hurling’.
Initially the announcement was met with widespread confusion, however the latest press release from the GAA has shed light on just what the new sport will entail.
After announcing that they have purchased 100 dolphins, GAA president Aogan O’Fearghail stated that the new sport would be “like hurling, only we’re strapping lads to dolphins and sticking them in the water”.
The purchase of the dolphins was costly at a total of €2 million, however, the GAA are confident in recouping that money as they look to push the sport in the Gulf states and America.
“America is the biggest market for this, we’re provisionally booked to play Giants stadium at the end of the summer, but we’ve got to train up the dolphins first, and convince Henry Shefflin to come out of retirement,” confirmed O’Fearghail, “we’re relying heavily on American’s ability to find novelty things absolutely hilarious”.
While the exact rules are still shrouded in mystery, it is expected to closely resemble hurling. Animal rights group PETA has objected to the sport, but the GAA has urged them not to judge the sport until they see the hurlers mounted on a harness on the dolphins.
“Listen, it’ll be a physical game, rest assured. Purists will love it, and dolphins aren’t shy of headbutting off the ball either,” shared Davy Fitzgerald, who confirmed his role as Tipperary senior water hurling manager.