Thought Doesn’t Count, Finds Study

IT is not the thought that counts, a breakthrough scientific study has revealed, bringing all society thought it knew about acts of kindness and the giving of gifts into question.

The study, which has shocked the world was conducted at MIT in America and through sample studies of several thousand individuals, it was revealed that when it comes to receiving or giving gifts it is not the thought that counts, but rather how much money was spent on the present.

“It’s really quite amazing, a total of 100% subjects in our research studies believe that if someone was thoughtful with a present they bought, it actually counts for shit unless it also cost a fuck tonne of cash,” Dr. Dietrich Nunes explained to WWN.

Up until this point the general public has been operating under the belief that when being told ‘it’s the thought that counts’ they were being informed that their present or gesture was very much welcomed, and even treasured.

However, this latest study contradicts this version of events entirely.

“Oh, it’s never been the thought that counts, that much is very clear. A candle holder bought for 2 euro? Yeah, that’s awful and no the thought doesn’t count. Something homemade? Dream on, whoever was on the receiving end of that gift fucking hated it, and would prefer something shiny and expensive,” Dr. Nunes elaborated further.

In concluding their study the research scientists at MIT confirmed that what counts is how much money is spent and that an individual need not spend much time picking out an item as long as the price tag can impress someone, serving as a death knell for Ireland’s ‘I made it myself’ industry.