Messi And Suarez Give Celta Vigo Keeper A Wedgie After Match

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BARCELONA strike team, Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez completed their humiliation of Celta Vigo’s Sergio Álvarez after yesterday’s La Liga clash by following the goalkeeper into the parking lot and giving him a wedgie in front of his wife and kids.

Not content with making the 29-year-old look like enough of an idiot, they then spent 30 minutes making Álvarez slap himself with his own hand, while asking “why are you hitting yourself? Why do you keep hitting yourself?”

The incident occurred directly after Barcelona’s 6-1 thrashing of Celta Vigo, during which Messi and Suarez got together to make Álvarez look like a ‘complete prick’ with an outrageous penalty combination.

After lining himself up to take the penalty, Messi instead feinted to the side and passed the ball to a charging Suarez who buried it in the net, as Álvarez wondered what he had done to make these Barcelona boys want to humiliate him so much.

“My fuckin’ parents were in the crowd,” sobbed Álvarez, picking up his kit from the ground after Messi and Suarez emptied his bag out.

“I just don’t understand why they’d want to make me look so foolish. They’re just bullies, is what they are. They’re cool and popular and good at football and they just want to take people like me and make us look like idiots so they can show off. I’m telling on them!”

Messi and Suarez were unavailable for comment, as they were mitching from training and smoking behind the sheds.

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