Couple Feeding Each Other Dessert Making Rest Of Restaurant Uncomfortable

A SERIES of stomach turning events are currently unfolding in a popular Dublin eatery this evening, leaving the majority of patrons feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

Lovebirds Eamon Kinsella and Sinead Dooley descended upon intimate restaurant The Salty Barnacle for a romantic meal and soon shared this intention with the rest of the restaurant’s customers, ruining everyone’s evening.

“Their dessert sharing is verging on the pornographic, no matter how hard I try I’ll never be able to erase the noises they’re making tucking into that Pavlova, my mind is sullied forever,” shared shaken Salty Barnacle patron Emma Hughes, who was at the restaurant with her boyfriend but was successfully refraining from engaging in disturbingly full-on public displays of affection.

CCTV footage from the restaurant shows a sordid series of events involving Eamon and Sinead which became vomit inducing some minutes ago when the couple were issued with two spoons for a single dessert.

“I know the waiter is just doing his job, but he should have stepped in when the woman started eating the strawberries off his chest,” another customer added, who confirmed he would sue the restaurant for emotional and psychological damage in the coming days.

Eamon and Sinead are engaging in a never ending display of what they believe passes for reasonable flirtatious dinner behaviour completely unaware of the growing number of people around them succumbing to vomiting of out disgust and discomfort.

“Seriously, who needs to utter that many ‘hmmms’, ‘ahs’ and ‘ohs’ when eating an Irish bloody stew,” confirmed restaurant manager Pavel Bistek, who intends to kick the couple out any moment now.

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