Guy Cycling Without Hands Not Looking For Any Attention

A COUNTY Limerick man has today denied allegations that he was only looking for attention while cycling his bike without any hands, despite doing so on a very busy city centre street.

Jason Guerin, with an address in Castletroy, claimed he was ‘looking for his rollies’ in his front hoodie pocket at the time, and didn’t even realise he was cycling with no hands.

“I’m just so used to cycling with no hands, I don’t even notice I was doing it,” he lied, before being asked by this reporter if he would like to join the circus at some stage.

“Are you trying to be smart or something, are ya? Whatchya mean join the circus, eh? You sayin’ I’m a clown?”

Following a spate of verbal obscenities, the now irate cyclist quickly horsed down his hand-rolled cigarette, flicking it to the ground in anger, as if believing he was some kind of legend.

“Oh wow, great trick there,” I retorted as he cycled away in disgust. “Maybe you should add that routine to your circus act too; you’ll be the star of the big top.”

Unable to respond due to the sheer distance between us, the wannabe stuntman cycled away normally, apparently too afraid to repeat his amazing ‘no hands’ trick.