Facebook To Construct New Data Centre As Ireland’s Selfie Capacity Reaches Breaking Point


THE construction of a new Facebook data centre in Meath, at a cost of €200 million, has been precipitated by the tech giant reaching maximum selfie capacity.

The Silicon Valley giant requires a new data centre as it continues to hoard masses of the data created by its users, with a near endless stream of selfies taking up the most room.

As many as 44 million pointless expressions of all encompassing narcissism have been created in the time it took to write this sentence.

“We’re not blaming anyone in particular, but Siobhan Caffrey from Island Bridge in Dublin has a lot to fucking answer for. She knows she has a problem, and there’s no need for 456 selfies being uploaded every day,” Mark Zuckerberg confirmed in an official announcement on his Facebook page earlier this morning.

It is thought the Facebook smartphone apps, which require access to your personal text messages, photos, files and emails contained on your phone have little to do with the need for another large data centre.

“No, this is very much a selfie based problem,” Zuckerberg confirmed in response to one comment on his Facebook page, before going on to link to several thousand photos of Dubliner Caffrey posing with a variety of food, clothes, people and objects.

For her part, Miss Caffrey responded to criticism by posing in 47 impromptu selfies for no reason in particular.