Boss Tells Staff They’ll Be Off For Xmas Day Like It Was His Idea


BERNARD Givens, manager of the Thurles branch of Dealz has informed his 16 employees that they will have the unique opportunity to have Christmas Day off work in a manner which suggested it was completely his idea.

“Lads,” Givens (48) beamed as he stormed into the canteen to begin a hastily called team meeting, “you’re going to love this,” he added while bringing his hands up to his face for dramatic effect.

The retail manager spent some 12 minutes, drawing out the news, eking out every last morsel of the benevolence he had to bestow on his staff, despite the fact Christmas day is a well known public holiday when most of the Nation are not required to work.

Raising his cup of tea, housed in a cup with ‘World’s Greatest Boss’ emblazoned on it, to his lips, Givens paused before revealing the joyous news.

“I’m giving you all the day off on Christmas, round of applause there lads, come on, it’s great news,” Givens proclaimed much to the bemusement of staff who would have told him to get fucked if he thought they were working on Christmas day.

“We’re a fucking shop that sells stuff for €1.49, we’re not exactly a Frontline service, course we have the day off ye gobshite,” observed student and part time Dealz worker Aaron Kilgallon, instantly deflating Givens’s bubble.

“I didn’t have to give ye all the day off, bit of respect would be nice,” Givens added, in the vein hope of preserving the illusion that he was in control of the shop’s opening hours.