Dad Has No Idea Why Websites Are Always Showing Him Ads For Porn

A WATERFORD father has spoken at length of his confusion at being greeted by advertisements for lewd pornography every time he’s on the internet, whether it be on his phone, laptop or the family PC.

“Would it be because I’m thinking of changing the car, Cormac?” 59-year-old Cian Doherty asked his youngest child, in an effort to understand why ads for a sexual practice known as ‘hummers’ were taking up large sections of websites he frequents.

In testimony that became increasingly unconvincing Mr. Doherty devoted large chunks of his family’s sit down meal to getting to the bottom of this odd occurrence, even as his son Cormac explained how companies use targeted ads depending of a user’s cache and search history.

“You know love, now that I think of it, I was looking up was there much difference between Barrys and Lyons, so that explains the tea bagging ads. I’m glad we’ve sorted that one out, at least,” Cian confirmed to his wife Mary as his youngest daughter Ailbhe turned permanently scarlet.

Despite desperate pleas from his children to ‘just shut up’, the stubborn father-of-three declined to do so, insisting that someone should ‘get onto Google and tell them the internet is broken’.

Mr. Doherty was then reluctantly asked by his eldest child Aine why the internet history on all of his devices were recently deleted. Becoming visibly flustered, the 59-year-old insisted “I don’t the history of the internet, I’m only an auld fella. Maybe I read on a YouTube video that it was a good thing to do”.

The mysterious presence of unfortunately graphic adverts is expected to continue for the foreseeable future.