Man Who Couldn’t Share Power With Sinn Féin OK With Lining His Own Pockets


FORMER first minister of Northern Ireland Peter Robinson has been named as one of the people who allegedly benefited financially from the successful sale of NAMA owned property loans to American firm Cerberus.

However, experts in Northern Irish politics immediately refuted these claims, pointing out Robinson was a morally rigid and highly principled individual who could no longer share power with Sinn Féin after hearing of the continued existence of the IRA.

“No, no, sorry this one is all wrong,” explained political expert Fergus McCannon, “there’s no way the holder of the highest office in Northern Ireland would ever become embroiled in corruption allegations, sure this is the man who withdrew from the Executive because criminals exist in Northern Ireland”.

“No, they’ve got it wrong,” McCannon added, alluding to a source who has been leaking information and documents which apparently imply Robinson, along with 4 others, was to personally benefit from the £1 billion property portfolio sale to the tune of £7 million.

Such claims suffer from a lack of credibility as a weary Northern Irish public struggle to comprehend that a politician would take the moral high ground on one issue in the name of integrity, while seemingly being a monstrous hypocrite when it comes to issues such as the lining of one’s pockets.

“Sorry about ye, but if this guy had the moral fortitude to back out of Government because some lads were still running around saying ‘Up the Ra’, then he’s hardly going to be involved in dodgy dealings, that would go against the values of any good Christian,” Belfast local and voter Teresa Callan told WWN.

The Northern Irish finance committee had the claims brought to them by loyalist activist Jamie Bryson, who has a much publicised ongoing battle with an addiction to flags. Despite the nature of the individual being furnished with the shocking information, it is expected that Robinson’s alleged involvement will be further probed by authorities.

American property company who purchased the portfolio, Cerberus, denied any wrongdoing, but are believed to be very happy with the ease at which the deal was concluded.

South of the border, corruption experts confirmed that such deals are nowhere near matching Celtic Tiger levels of corruption.