Principled Party Of The People Willing To Go Into Coalition With Absolutely Anyone


SINN FÉIN, the opposition party that represents the people and only the people, have confirmed they would go into power with absolutely anybody despite previously expressing their outrage at how the coalition Government has run the country.

Speaking to the media, Sinn Féin’s leader Gerry Adams said he would not rule out joining forces with any successful party in the elections despite being enraged at how Fianna Fáil, Fine Gael and the Labour Party have, according to his party, collectively ruined the country in recent years.

“Ah, God, all those thoughts of our opposition being incompetent, and scurrilous kind of go out the window when you get a sniff at power,” Adams explained.

Nontraditional Sinn Féin voters have been attracted to the party in recent years as they continue to staunchly criticise the coalition for austerity policies which have hit the most vulnerable in Irish society.

Voters had warmed to the party after it embraced a more genuine tone in the Oireachtas, casting aside the ‘business as usual politics’ which have so damaged the country in previous decades.

“Did they tank the economy? Yes. Did they decimate vital services through funding cuts? Yes. Would I trust them to sort out a piss up in a brewery? No. Will I jump into bed with them if Sinn Féin can get into power? Abso-fucking-lutely,” Adams added while scribbling ‘Taoiseach Gerry’ on a nearby notepad.

Political experts had predicted that Sinn Féin would have been the one party who would potentially refuse to abandon all it stands for just to spend a few years in power, but that has all but been ruled out by Adams, although the party leader did rule out specific concessions being yielded.

“I’m staying on Twitter and no one can make me leave,” he confirmed.