Gardaí Launch ‘Slow Down At The Checkpoint, Then Carry On Driving Like A Lunatic’ Campaign


THE Gardaí have launched a 24 hour ‘slow down at the checkpoint, then carry on driving like a lunatic’ campaign in an effort to reduce the recent carnage on the roads which has tragically cut short so many lives and devastated families.

Gardaí have set up checkpoints throughout the country which they hope will encourage motorists to slow down and obey the speed limit for a distance of roughly 100 feet, before going back to driving recklessly once out of their view.

The 24 hour campaign seems to have the backing of the general public. “Ah, it’s great to see, it’s about fucking time they clamped down on those young fellas,” explained 39-year-old Fergal Downey, who is completely oblivious to the fact that he has narrowly avoided killing himself on the country’s roads just 456 times.

“This is about saving lives,” Garda Gareth Murphy told WWN, “we’re appealing specifically to a small section of the driving public, newly qualified male drivers. If you passed your test 5 years, 10 or even 15 years ago, you’re grand. You’ve got nothing to worry about as you know everything”.

Murphy cited a recent study which proved conclusively that if you have the ability to dismiss young drivers, then you also possess the ability to drive effortlessly through perilous road conditions with your eyes closed and don’t need anyone telling you what to do.

“These checkpoints are all out to ensure we have a few stretches of road where drivers actually obey the road. I think we’ll know we’ve done our job when a handful of drivers slow down for those few metres, and give us a smile of acknowledgement, once your gone round the corner you’re free to go back to being an irresponsible lunatic,” Murphy concluded.