Prince George Receives Gift Of Northern Ireland On His 2nd Birthday


THE British royal family are celebrating the second birthday of their successful PR exercise by gifting Prince George the entirety of Northern Ireland.

While the media fawn over the royal family, comprised entirely of benefit claimants, Prince George’s great grandmother, Elizabeth II has chosen to bestow upon the heir the six counties; such is her love for the future king of England.

“One just fucking hates the place and this seemed like the perfect excuse to offload it to someone to be honest,” the Queen is believed to have written in a birthday card addressed to the toddler.

Northern Ireland is said to be unhappy at the decision, but were firmly reminded by the Queen that they have no fucking say in the matter. The news was greeted by the media with universal approval as it was seen as the ideal training ground for a monarch in waiting.

“He can fuck up, makes mistakes and no one will care as it’s just Northern Ireland,” Daily Mail journalist Waida Chunt told WWN.

“We’re quite proud of coming up with the idea of a baby to save the royal family’s public image,” Kensington Palace spokesman Geriant Jones told WWN, “you knew the public were getting bored of them and since everyone loves babies it was a no-brainer. It’s great to celebrate it with a bit of a party too”.

Jones also took credit for dressing up the child so he looked like he was auditioning for the role of demonic Damien in the latest Omen remakes.

“Yeah, that was me, it’d give you fucking nightmare alright, but the women love it. It’s creepy, but it seems they haven’t figured that out yet,” he added.

In other news, the Irish Independent, which last week was outraged by the BBC’s attempt to link citizen of sovereign Ireland Conor McGregor to Britain in some way, has celebrated the birthday of Prince George with a 38-page photo gallery of the British ruler-in-waiting.