EU Confirm Greek People Held ‘Celebration Riots’ Last Night
EU leaders have confirmed that the Greek people rioting outside the Greek parliament last night were engaged in ‘celebration riots’, which were staged as a show of approval for the swathes of EU measures forced upon their country.
“I wouldn’t call it overjoyed, but there were some rather happy clashes with the police, which I think it’s fair to say was the Greek people’s way of saying ‘thanks Europe’,” German chancellor Angela Merkel confirmed in a German TV address this morning.
Merkel alleges that upon hearing that the Greek parliament had passed the eurozone deal laws, the Greek people performed an uncommon display of unruly and violent happiness.
“From the outside it looks like throwing bricks at police is a way of expressing deep dissatisfaction with being thrown to the lions, but it is the exact opposite,” confirmed celebration riot expert Hans Hausmann.
With only 64 Greek MPs vote no to the measures, it is believed the public reacted angrily to their negative approach to the sweeping economic changes.
“When you see the fires, the angry and screaming faces you just have to sit back and enjoy what is obviously a joyous embrace of the ideals of the European Union,” Merkel said, concluding her address before waving a miniature Greek flag and smiling.
Other European leaders were not so enthusiastic, and instead criticised the poor public turnout at the celebration riots.
“How hard is it to drag yourself out of the house and lob a few happiness bricks at the police, honestly,” queried Irish leader Enda Kenny.