Taoiseach Accuses Adams Of Cheating During Dail Sports Day

THE annual Dail sports day descended into farce after Enda Kenny called Gerry Adams’ win in the all-party egg ‘n spoon race into dispute, claiming he cheated to achieve victory.

The day of fun, organised for the TDs as a treat before they go on their Summer break, had been going smoothly until the incident, with politicians from both sides of the house enjoying the sunshine in Phoenix Park.

Fianna Fáil leader Michael Martin claimed an impressive sack-race win early on, and unlikely couple Joan Burton and Mary Lou MacDonald put aside their differences and teamed up to swoop to victory in the three-legged race.

The fun and games stopped after the Egg & Spoon race, in which the Taoiseach approached the Ceann Comhairle and complained that Gerry Adams had won the race unfairly, stating that the Sinn Fein leader must have stuck his egg to his spoon, possibly with blu-tack or chewing gum.

“Enda was well out in front, but his egg kept falling off his spoon,” said Sean Barrett, current Ceann Comhairle.

“Gerry came behind him at a steady pace, never letting his egg drop once. He won by twenty yards or more, causing Enda to stomp around saying that if the race wasn’t run again, he was going to go home”.

Adams, spotted earlier eating a huge mouthful of Hubba Bubba, fervently denies all allegations of wrongdoing.