Woman Refuses To Get Out Of Her Onesie Following Split With Boyfriend


DUBLIN woman Jessica Hanlon has confirmed that she is ‘totally fine’ to her coworkers despite wearing her onesie to work for the 5th day in a row following her split from boyfriend of 3 years Thomas D’Arcy.

Hanlon, 27, has confirmed the onesie is incredibly comfortable and ‘like a hug’ but has denied that her wearing of it has anything to do with her recent break up, which is basically not even a big deal.

“I think the penguin onesie just won’t go out of fashion, it’s so on point right now, so I don’t think I’ll ever stop wearing it. Ever,” confirmed Hanlon to WWN while placing over 20 chocolate bar wrappers in a nearby bin.

Despite coworker and best friend Sarah Hickey politely asking if she “wanted to talk about it?” Hanlon immediately confirmed she had no idea what ‘it’ was and that she was fine and she was ‘just going to get on with work now if that was OK?’

The 27-year-old made the tough decision last weekend to mutually terminate her relationship with her boyfriend, but has confirmed it has had no immediate effect on her.

Asked whether she was also wearing her onesie to bed, Hanlon helpfully pointed that “of course I am you fuckin’ idiot, it’s a onesie. It’s the all purpose, all-day everywhere attire”.

The newly single marketing executive has caused a stir in the office by attending several important client meetings with her penguin hood fully up, masking her face.

Hanlon also confirmed to WWN that if anyone said they heard a sobbing noise from within the hood, they were mistaken as the acoustics inside the penguin hood are actually quite deceptive.