Tony Blair To Receive Award For Lifetime Services To War


TONY BLAIR is to receive the prestigious ‘War Award’ for his lifetime services to war, following his official resignation from his position as Middle East Peace Envoy.

A polarising and an often controversial figure, Blair had denied he was leaving the position he has held for the past 8 years after finally reading the job description, instead maintaining he simply wanted to explore other job opportunities.

“It’s always nice to be honoured,” Blair said he accepted his award, a large container filled with blood, in front of a small gathering of private security companies and reprehensible individuals he has helped through his work with Tony Blair Associates.

Honoured for his continued insistence of interventionism in Iraq and Syria while occupying the office of Middle East Peace Envoy, private military firms and arms dealers thanked the former Labour leader for all he has done for their profit margins and bank accounts.

Blair’s insistence in recent years that attacks be carried out in Syria sit in contrast to his attempts to bestow a knighthood on Syrian dictator Bashar Al Assad while Blair was still prime minister.

The former British prime minister is most famous for his role in the 2003 invasion of Iraq, and it was hoped that taking up the role of Middle East Peace Envoy would go some way to repairing his public image as more than someone with the blood of innocent Iraqi civilians on his hands.

“Thank you for all your kind gifts,” Blair added as he clutched a DVD copy of Iraq War: Greatest Hits.

Returning the volatile Middle East Region to unparalleled levels of peace in the last few years had almost distracted the public from his collusion with several dictators, including Muammar Ghaddafi.

However, his high profile consultancy work which included helping the Kazakstan Government win the PR war following a massacre in 2011, has always meant Blair would be the most obvious candidate for this year’s War Award.