Junkies On Bus To Dublin Probably Visiting A Museum Or Something


A GROUP of junkies who just got on the bus to Dublin right there are probably visiting a museum or something, it has been established.

Decco, Anto, Jacintha and Keano boarded the 12:30pm express coach from Waterford, much to the absolute delight of fellow passengers.

“I’d say they must be heading up to the Irish Museum of Modern Art,” hinted one man, who immediately put his laptop into his bag. “It must be great to have the day off. Hopefully the weather holds off for them now. Not a jacket between them”.

The drug addicts, who quickly brushed down the isle to the back seat, began making a series of phone calls to friends, relaying vital information about their up-and-coming visit.

“De driver said we’ll be there at three,” one of the men was overheard saying. “Did yis get the udder thing? Yeah? I’ll take all yis got. Just make sure it’s not danced on likes de last time. I was shittin’ water for weeks so I was”.

“It’s great to see young people touring their own country,” said front seat passenger, Mary Horan, who was travelling up to see her son James. “Ireland is steeped in culture so why shouldn’t the unemployed take full advantage between jobs”.

Taking turns in the bus toilet, the jaundice-faced passengers seemed quite content with the facilities, each one struggling with the journey back to their seat.

“Those steps nearly kilt me. I’d murder a bleedin’ Yazoo so I woulds,” Jacintha exclaimed. “Did yis tell Johnno to bring new works an’all with him Anto?”

“All he has is de gear,” Anto replied, confident no one else on the bus would crack their code. “I’ll ask the driver if he has a spoon when we get off”.

Following several heated arguments and two verbal warnings from the driver, the junkie expedition finally arrived safely at their location shortly before 3pm.

“Have a good time now in the city you guys,” a remaining passenger said happily, “see the sights”.