Government Accidentally Spends €500m On Menthol Health Services

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A SERIES of miscommunications and clerical errors has resulted in €500m of taxpayers money being directed into a state body tasked with making sure everyone smells minty fresh.

The half-billion fund, which had been earmarked for much needed Mental Health Services, was accidentally spent on Menthol Health Services over the course of three years.

Hundreds of millions were spent on the initial setting up of the commission, with many more going on consultants hired to oversee the project.

It is believed the government may have noticed their error sometime late last year, but continued with the formation of the new service in order to not waste the money they had already spent.

Minister For Health Leo Varadkar announced the opening of five new Menthol Health clinics across the country today, in a press conference at Leinster House.

“We’re delighted to announce these centers of minty excellence in Dublin, Cork, Galway, Limerick and Athlone” said Minister Varadkar, flanked by models dressed as packs of Wrigleys Airwaves.

“These state-of-the-art facilities will bring much needed relief to those afflicted by bad breath, halitosis or gingivitis, as well as suffering with blocked sinuses and stuffy noses. These Menthol Health Clinics are unlike anything else in the world, and we should be proud to have this service available to men and women of all ages”.

Varadkar went on to announce the appointment of several well-known government supporters to key roles in the daily operation of the clinics, as well as payment structures which included generous pension contributions as well as annual performance related bonuses.

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