Autopsy On Local Man Finds Yes Campaign Rammed Down His Throat

AN autopsy carried out on local man Gerry Hegarty has found the cause of death to be a large yes campaign lodged down his throat, starving him of oxygen and resulting in his eventual death.

Pathologist Eamon Lean, who carried out the post mortem examination, said that Mr Hegarty’s airway’s were completely blocked by the yes campaign and warned that his death may be the first of many if a balance is not met.

The 37-year-old was found unconscious on Grafton Street on Tuesday evening and an ambulance was called to the scene by a passing pedestrian. The son of parents was pronounced dead at St. Vincent’s hospital a short time later.

Hegarty was understood to have engaged with several marriage equality campaigners on Grafton Street before being found, and a full investigation is being carried out into the matter.

“It probably got too much for him to digest,” Dr. Lean told WWN. “This is a worrying trend. Our hospital has had hundreds of admissions in the last month were patients have complained of the yes campaign being rammed down their throats. This over-saturation could backfire and have a knock-on-effect to peoples’ health.”

Meanwhile the ‘No’ side has welcomed Mr Hegarty’s death, stating it will give them some more ammunition in the battle against homosexuals wanting to marry each other.

“This couldn’t have come at a better time,” said Breda O’Brien patron saint of the Iona Institute. “I’ll admit we were struggling there for a bit. Hopefully a few more will die and prove us right.”