Humanity The Only Losers As Media Report On Hopkins/Dyer ‘Twitter Feud’


IT has been confirmed that humanity, made up of human beings, is set to be the only losers as the media choose to give prominence to a series of tweets sent by a woman and a man to one another.

It is believed that the low point of human existence has arrived some 15 years into the 21st century and has taken the form of a news story involving a so-called ‘Twitter spat’ or ‘feud’ between an actor best known for gangster flick ‘Cockney Cuntz’ and a woman.

The woman in question, Katie Hopkins, is most famous for saying things in a calculated fashion in the hope they bring her infamy and paid appearances on TV.

“The fact this is a story will most definitely to a contributing factor to the end of mankind as we know it,” confirmed media expert Gary Klein.

Is it believed the media were first drawn to the ever-evolving story when Hopkins addressed a tweet to Danny Dyer which had little or no real substance and certainly held no importance in the wider context of a forward thinking and worthwhile society.

However, despite the obvious absurdity of publications paying journalists to stalk the social media accounts of celebrities, many supposedly intelligent people still read the offending articles in print and online.

“I fucking hate myself sometimes,” explained Emma Dobbert, who admitted to WWN she clicked on an article about Danny Dyer and Katie Hopkins. “Like what the fuck am I playing at, I don’t watch Eastenders and I’m smart enough to ignore Katie Hopkins and yet, I still fucking clicked and read the stupid thing”.

Miss Dobbert then confessed to getting rid of her iPhone and iPad in an attempt to restrict her access to cat videos and ridiculous news stories online.

Most media outlets who reproduced the tweets and housed them on their sites admit to not giving a fucking toss about the state of modern journalism.

“I honestly don’t give a fucking toss about the state of modern journalism,” confirmed the editor of the Mirror who is just one of many editors who prioritise tweets sent by celebrities over news that actually happened somewhere.