Tabloid Journalists Removed From Dwyer Trial After Being Found Masturbating To Sordid Details

153
0
Share:

image

FOLLOWING the commencement of yet another high profile trial in which a man stands accused of murdering a woman, the Irish media have confirmed they will handle the reporting of the case with all the subtlety of a dog shitting in the middle of a street in broad daylight.

There were shocking scenes yesterday when as many as 4 journalists gleefully became aroused as the first details of the murder trial were slowly revealed in court. Such was the excitement displayed by some tabloid journalists, they had to be forcibly removed as they unbuckled their belts and unzipped their trousers.

“We just want to make it clear that our journalists didn’t masturbate because they were turned on by the salacious nature of the evidence but because they were keenly aware of how many column inches they could fill given the sensationalist backdrop such evidence provided while pretending to care about an innocent victim,” explained an editor for The Daily Mail.

Media outlets are expected to give near 24/7 coverage, seeking out every last morsel of titillation from the trial under the false guise of ‘the public interest’, in an obvious attempt to sell more papers.

The nature of the coverage thus far sits in contrast with the code of practice outlined by the Press Council of Ireland which states: “Newspapers and magazines shall strive to ensure that court reports (including the use of photographs) are fair and accurate, are not prejudicial to the right to a fair trial and that the presumption of innocence is respected”.

“Ah come on, that’s bollocks,” explained veteran Irish court reporter Barry Casey, “are you telling me that irresponsible and overblown coverage from the majority of the country’s top selling papers could in any way prove prejudicial?”

Casey went on to point out that a jury could easily avoid pages 1,4,5,6 and 7 of the Daily Mail and several other tabloids along with all news bulletins and modern Western civilisation in general if it didn’t want to be influenced.

A large portion of the general public has supported this type of reporting when in the past it has confirmed a number of individuals were guilty and thus no trial was ever needed.

Share:
X