Motorist Approaching Speed Van To Drive 20km Below Limit, Just To Be Fucking Sure Like

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A COUNTY Limerick motorist travelling just under the desired 80km speed limit, has spontaneously decided to slow his car down to 60km, after spotting a speed van up ahead.

Travelling on the N24 to Clonmel, pensioner Cormac Shields shifted his Nissan Micra down to fourth gear ‘just to be fucking sure like’, much to the distress of the cavalcade of motorists in cars and lorries behind him.

Unaware of the weaving BMW two feet from his rear bumper, Mr. Shields calmly hummed the Louis Armstrong number ‘It’s a Wonderful World’ to himself while continuing to ignore all three of his car’s mirrors.

“I wonder if it’s going to rain,” thought the 78-year-old, who began fiddling with his hearing aid, which appeared to be making beeping noises. “Batteries must be going in this thing. It’s been beeping for the last hour”.

Meanwhile, truck driver Mark Clancy, who cannot over-take due to a limiter on his Hino lorry, told WWN that he has been stuck behind the 98 Nissan Micra since leaving Limerick city over an hour ago.

“There have already been four near misses with lads over-taking him,” he said. “It’s people who drive slow like that who cause accidents. I don’t think he would even notice if there was one – he’s that lost in his own world”.

Rebelliously accelerating back up to 72km after passing the parked-up speed van, the elderly Mr. Shields made comment on the 3 Series overtaking him on the ‘dangerous enough bend’.

“It’s eejits like that now that’ll be on the news later,” he grumbled to himself, still completely unaware of the quarter mile tailback. “I don’t know where they get their licences these days, but the government should be ashamed of themselves.”

Shields, a full-drivers-licence holder who never actually sat a driving test, arrived at his destination safely after his four hour, 54 kilometer drive.

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