Cool New Dublin Start Up Actually A Crack Den


dublin tech start up

DESPITE innovative tech start ups continuing to gentrify parts of Dublin long unused by the hipster elite, there have been more than one or two failures in the start up revolution.

Crack Den, tipped by many to be the big break out star from the Grand Canal area of Dublin this year have today been unmasked as an actual heroin den by WWN.

Buzz around Crack Den began late last year as a number of people were seen entering a disused industrial unit in the Grand Canal Area every morning, sparking speculation in Dublin entrepreneurial circles.

Lovin Dublin picked up on the comings and goings at this space to reveal members of Crack Den were apparently hard at work on the next big thing in wearable tech.

Hailed as “a co-operative of creative types, they amble in at the break of dawn without the trademark coffee in hand, which marks them out as different from all other Docklands innovators. Looking in the windows, it is a sparsely decorated space in the Swedish tradition. This is Dublin’s ‘Berlin’ moment”.

A follow up feature by the Irish Times suggested the reclusive gang of four were perhaps working on an innovative development in recycling technology as they left intermittently throughout the day, sometimes with copper and other metals which could be exchanged for cash.

A section of the piece reads: “rummaging through skips may seem odd at first, but Crack Den is a different breed. With their closely guarded secret product at the development stage, we can only hope they reveal the significance of taking metal when they unveil their product at next year’s Web Summit”.

The newspaper also found their working hours bemusing as “they emerge at first light only to disappear for much of the day, presumably dreaming up another innovation”.

WWN can reveal that when attempting to contact Crack Den for an interview it became evident it was an actual crack den. Martin Roche, singled out as the ‘tech leader’ by several sites explained the misunderstanding to WWN.

“I stumbled into the Facebook offices there the other day, you know, asking if they had any money – spare change and that and next thing I know I’m ushered into the boardroom,” said Roche.

A homeless man for several years now, Roche went on the explain that he tried to correct the misunderstanding, but was shouted down with larger offers to buy Crack Den and its premises.

“I just sort of legged it when they kept shouting, and then I was only out the door when some lad from Google was running down the road after me with a blank cheque book,” an uncomfortable Roche added.

Crack Den finalised its €3.4 billion takeover by Microsoft earlier this afternoon.